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<aiml version="1.0">
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<category><pattern>IMPONDERABLES</pattern>
<template><random><li>Do fish ever sneeze?</li>
<li>Can sour cream go bad?</li>
<li>What is the speed of dark?</li>
<li>Why do clocks run clockwise?</li>
<li>Why do doughnuts have holes?</li>
<li>What do you call a male ladybug?</li>
<li>Is there another word for synonym?</li>
<li>What's another word for Thesaurus?</li>
<li>Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?</li>
<li>Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?</li>
<li>Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?</li>
<li>Why does unscented hair spray smell?</li>
<li>Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?</li>
<li>If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?</li>
<li>Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?</li>
<li>Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?</li>
<li>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?</li>
<li>What do ducks have to do with duck tape?</li>
<li>Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?</li>
<li>How and why do horses sleep standing up?</li>
<li>Why do ketchup bottles have narrow necks?</li>
<li>Why don't people snore when they're awake?</li>
<li>Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?</li>
<li>Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?</li>
<li>What was the best thing before sliced bread?</li>
<li>Is a clear conscience a sign of a bad memory?</li>
<li>What happens to the tread that wears off tires?</li>
<li>Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?</li>
<li>What does the phrase "Now then" really mean?</li>
<li>How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?</li>
<li>Suppose the hokey-pokey is what its all about?</li>
<li>Are Santa's helpers called subordinate clauses?</li>
<li>If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?</li>
<li>Why are people immune to their own body odor?</li>
<li>Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?</li>
<li>Why do people like to pop bubble wrap so much?</li>
<li>Do they use sterilized needles for fatal injections?</li>
<li>If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?</li>
<li>Why do you never hear about gruntled employees?</li>
<li>If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?</li>
<li>What happens if you get scared half to death twice?</li>
<li>If man evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?</li>
<li>When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?</li>
<li>Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?</li>
<li>What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?</li>
<li>If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?</li>
<li>If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?</li>
<li>Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?</li>
<li>Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?</li>
<li>If a book about failures doesn't sell well, is it a success?</li>
<li>Would you still be hungry if you ate pasta and antipasto?</li>
<li>Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?</li>
<li>If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?</li>
<li>If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?</li>
<li>Why must there be five syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"</li>
<li>Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?</li>
<li>Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?</li>
<li>If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?</li>
<li>If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?</li>
<li>Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together?</li>
<li>If you go to a general store, will they let you buy anything specific?</li>
<li>When dogs bark for hour on end, why don't they ever get hoarse?</li>
<li>What size were hailstones before the game of golf was invented?</li>
<li>If 7-11 is open 24 h/d, 365 d/yr, why are there locks on the doors?</li>
<li>Why do we say that something is out of whack? What is a whack?</li>
<li>If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?</li>
<li>Why do superficial paper cuts tend to hurt more than grosser cuts?</li>
<li>If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?</li>
<li>If we're here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?</li>
<li>The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.</li>
<li>Why is experience something you don't get until just after you need it?</li>
<li>If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest also have to drown?</li>
<li>Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?</li>
<li>Why is the period of the day with the slowest traffic called the rush hour?</li>
<li>Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?</li>
<li>Should we be concerned that engineers describe their work as "practice"?</li>
<li>How do they keep all the raisins in a cereal box from falling to the bottom?</li>
<li>If cement was invented 7,000 years ago, why isn't the whole planet paved?</li>
<li>If you build an idiot-proof system, will the world create a better-quality idiot?</li>
<li>Why do hot dogs come 10 to a package and hot-dog buns 8 to a package?</li>
<li>Why is the telephone key pad arranged differently than a calculator key pad?</li>
<li>Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?</li>
<li>Why do engineers call it research when they're searching for something new?</li>
<li>How many roads does a man need to travel down before he admits he is lost?</li>
<li>If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him that he has the right to remain silent?</li>
<li>Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?</li>
<li>If quitters never win and winners never quit, why should you "quit while you're ahead"?</li>
<li>When two airplanes almost collide, why do they call it a near miss rather than a near hit?</li>
<li>Does current emphasis on artificial intelligence support the existence of artificial stupidity?</li>
<li>Light travels faster than sound; is that why people appear bright until you hear them speak?</li>
<li>When a fly alights on the ceiling, does it perform a loop or a roll in order to get upside down?</li>
<li>How do military cadets find their caps after tossing them in the air at graduation ceremonies?</li>
<li>How do they get deer to cross a highway where they place one of those yellow warning signs?</li>
<li>Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?</li>
<li>Airplanes have an indestructible black box. Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?</li>
<li>What happens if you turn on your headlights when you're in a vehicle moving at the speed of light?</li>
<li>When you pick something up so your hands are full, why does someplace on your face start to itch?</li>
<li>Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?</li>
<li>If it's zero degrees today and tomorrow is supposed to be twice as cold, what will tomorrow's temperature be?</li>
<li>A bus station is where a bus stops; a train station is where a train stops. What occurs at a desk with a work station?</li>
<li>Why is it that when you send something by truck it's called a shipment, but when you send it by ship it's called cargo?</li>
</random></template>
</category>
</aiml>
